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C2S comments on the reduced 'A pack' time
To all fellow runners in the community.
The 2005 City to Surf will alter the overall time allowed for entry into the 'A' pack or first pack of the race according to Race Director Wayne Kerr. Mr Kerr said in a press release that the overall size of the 'A' pack "…incorporated more than 10,000 runners of whom only 1000 are capable of running under the famed 60 minute mark". Mr Kerr went on the say that "…the back of the A pack supports runners who are merely joggers struggling to break 80, 90, or even 100 minutes. Most of these people need to give their heart a rub or take up a less active sport like tiddly-winks." At the present moment the entry into the 'A' pack is an extremely generous 100 minutes. Mr Kerr was heard to say "100 minutes is so friggin' pathetic I could run under 100 standing on my dick."
In true style Mr Kerr dropped his daks in front of 32 reporters and the media and proceeded to knock out a quick 4:50 minute kilometre while shuffling on his erect member. It has to been further stated that the revised cut off time for the 'A' pack will be 85 minutes. "We feel 85 minutes is well and truly enough time for pinko-commo tree hugging lesbians to shuffle their way to Bondi. Hell, even people from Dorkville....oh..I mean Bungendore can run that," stated assistant Race Director Pauline Hanson. Ms Hanson has taken up the hobby of running since leaving jail because she gained an appreciation for it while in the slammer. "Yes I ran a lot in Jail...mainly away from those pinko-commo tree hugging lesbians that chased me."
On top of this announcement, there have been rumours of constructing a 45,000 foot long sky dome capable of shading runners on their journey from the CBD to Bondi. Reports say this would lower temperatures to a pleasant 18.6 degrees without affecting the wind.
