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Christmas RunningIts the silly season. Anyone got some funny running stories, pics [even cleaver photos shopped ones] poems, ect. from past or present to share?


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#1 SkyChariot

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Posted 02 December 2014 - 05:33 PM

Well, I was thinking that we needed to start getting a little festive with our running. I am thinking that coolrunners out there might have some fun or inspirational Christmas running stories or stuff to contribute. Or even some christmas loonasy Here is starters from me. Little song I put together called 'The little runner girl' to the tune of 'The little drummer boy'. Join me and sing along!   My bowels they call to me run run run run run.......I have this gastric thing run run run run run.......I shit my pants oh dear! run run run run run........And chaffed my ass hole skin run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Off of my bum.  I felt like such a fool run run run run run........With my explosive stool run run run run run.........I nearly drowned in crap run run run run run........my ass ran like a tap run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Out of my bum.  There was an aweful stench run  run run run run........I tried to butt cheek clench run run run run run........But still the shit seeped through run run run run run........And oozed down to my shoes run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. No stopping my bum.  I took Imodium run run run run run......And tried to hold it in run run run run run......My guts kept rumbling run run run run run.......I blasted off my ring run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. And crippled my bum.  I had no toilet roll run run run run run......To wipe my messy hole run run run run run......I had to skate real fast run run run run run.......Across a patch of grass run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run, Clean up my bum........As if that weren't enough run run run run run........I singed my fanny fluff run run run run run......When methane from my tush run run run run run.........Set fire to my bush run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Sizzling bum.  The cops arrested me run run run run run......For my indecency run run run run run.....And locked me in a cell run run run run run.....I filled that up as well run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Criminal bummm!   Hope that gave you guys a laugh

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#2 Jindalee

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Posted 02 December 2014 - 07:49 PM

Lol!! Very funny, liking it :)

#3 riffraff

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Posted 02 December 2014 - 07:56 PM

^^ little drummer boy will now never be the same.

#4 bingo01

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Posted 02 December 2014 - 08:53 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 02 December 2014 - 05:33 PM, said:

Well, I was thinking that we needed to start getting a little festive with our running. I am thinking that coolrunners out there might have some fun or inspirational Christmas running stories or stuff to contribute. Or even some christmas loonasy Here is starters from me. Little song I put together called 'The little runner girl' to the tune of 'The little drummer boy'. Join me and sing along!          My bowels they call to me run run run run run.......I have this gastric thing run run run run run.......I shit my pants oh dear! run run run run run........And chaffed my ass hole skin run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Off of my bum.  I felt like such a fool run run run run run........With my explosive stool run run run run run.........I nearly drowned in crap run run run run run........my ass ran like a tap run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Out of my bum.  There was an aweful stench run  run run run run........I tried to butt cheek clench run run run run run........But still the shit seeped through run run run run run........And oozed down to my shoes run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. No stopping my bum.  I took Imodium run run run run run......And tried to hold it in run run run run run......My guts kept rumbling run run run run run.......I blasted off my ring run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. And crippled my bum.  I had no toilet roll run run run run run......To wipe my messy hole run run run run run......I had to skate real fast run run run run run.......Across a patch of grass run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run, Clean up my bum........As if that weren't enough run run run run run........I singed my fanny fluff run run run run run......When methane from my tush run run run run run.........Set fire to my bush run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Sizzling bum.  The cops arrested me run run run run run......For my indecency run run run run run.....And locked me in a cell run run run run run.....I filled that up as well run run run run run, run run run run, run run run run. Criminal bummm!          Hope that gave you guys a laugh

you have such a way with words....

#5 SkyChariot

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Posted 12 December 2014 - 02:56 PM

Where is all the festive coolrunners??? Here is something else for you, hope you get a laugh.
   The True History of The Marathon and what really happened at Christmas.
Contrary to popular belief, it was not Pheidippides the Greek messenger who ran 42ks across the Plains of Marathon to Athens [he had a blister from parkrun on Saturday] to deliver news of the Athenian victory over the Greeks. It was in fact a Jewish woman named Yentil, dressed as a man. But, because the world was very much a patriarchy back then, when this was discovered, she was quickly ushered away and hidden in a near by amenities block, as, of course, we all know that women are just too fragile to run marathons, and men didn't like to feel inferior against the 'weaker sex'. It was said that 'Pheidippidies' died so no one would find out the trueth.[ and because men like to over dramatis  feats of 'heroism'.] But what was also never revealed was that Yentil had been 'with child' on that epic marathon, which made the feat even more remarkable, and the exertion she had just undertaken put her into premature labour. This of course, had to be an immaculate conception, as single pregnant women were a big 'no no'. So, in a urinal, in that dirty old amenities block, a baby girl was born. Yentil looked lovingly down at her and said 'You shall be named Athene Christmas Chariot, and you will be a Goddess of women distance runners.'   As it so happened, on that same night, 3 Kings named Adiddas, Nike and Vibram went on a bit of a bender, and in their sozzled state, saw what they believed was an unusually bright star in the east. Taking it to be a sign from God that a new King of man had been born, they set out across the desert with gifts of body glide, gels and Gatorade,  seeking their new King. Alas, some cloud came across the sky and obscured the star, and they took a wrong turn because their garmins were inaccurate, and they ended up in the amenities block in Athens instead. They peered down into the urinal and there lay baby Athene, Goddess of running. 'WTF!' They all exclaimed in unison! 'So now we have to worship a girl??? Oh crap!'

#6 Davo

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Posted 15 December 2014 - 08:37 PM

Gold, SK !  :LMAO:

#7 SkyChariot

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Posted 16 December 2014 - 04:37 PM

^^Thankyou Davo.II went to like your post,but dont seem to have any likes today yet, dammit!  I am just trying to get into the festive spirit, and be a little silly! There has gotta be some more coolrunners out there with some things to add here?? Pics of past Christmas's running in santa hats?? Funny Christmas running stories? Just make something up! Laugh! Be jolly!!! Ho Ho Ho!

#8 SkyChariot

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Posted 23 December 2016 - 09:54 AM

After weeks of being bombarded by Christmas carols everywhere I go, that are full of white Christmas's, snow, and sleights, which are more American, and have nothing to do with our summer climate, I was thinking it was time we had something more appropriate for Australia to sing. So, thinking about the aussie culture, I came up with this little ditty to the tune of 'Advance Australia Fair', called 'That's Aussie Christmas, Yeah!'   Here goes...... Its Chrissy so lets all get drunk, And spew under the tree. We all hang out on Bondi Beach, And down some more VB's. We eat a lot of prawns and pav, And thongs are what we wear. Our stomachs hurt, We get sunburnt, The fly's are everywhere! With painful groans we stagger home, That's Aussie Christmas, Yeah!  Hope that gives you a laugh, and a merry Christmas to all coolrunners.

#9 SkyChariot

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Posted 07 December 2017 - 03:25 PM

Anyone who lives in NSW, or is aware of the ferry naming debarcle that has been going on here might appreciate my little Christmas cartoon take on it

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#10 Jindalee

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Posted 07 December 2017 - 08:20 PM

Hehe love it!

#11 SkyChariot

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Posted 08 December 2017 - 01:47 PM

I jut put this up in the members only funny pics thread, but while I am on a roll, I may as well put it up here as well. Its a St Peters Christmas parkrun pic from a few years back.

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#12 Stej

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Posted 08 December 2017 - 02:55 PM

Xmas running.  If there is a chance that you will be taken anywhere near a busy shopping centre in the week or two before xmas then RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY FAST!

#13 Jindalee

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Posted 08 December 2017 - 06:28 PM

If anyone is feeling festive and wants to run around Sydney dressed christmassy... Iím organising a run for my ďrunning clubĒ (hash house harriers) on 21.12.17 starting at 6.30 pm at Wentworth park.

Edited by Jindalee, 08 December 2017 - 06:36 PM.


#14 Davo

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Posted 08 December 2017 - 09:55 PM

View PostJindalee, on 08 December 2017 - 06:28 PM, said:

If anyone is feeling festive and wants to run around Sydney dressed christmassy... I'm organising a run for my "running club" (hash house harriers) on 21.12.17 starting at 6.30 pm at Wentworth park.
I'm glad you put the words "running club" in inverted brackets, Jindalee.
As an ex-GM (Brisbane Northside HHH, 2001) I can only say "On-On !"
Sadly I have now retired from hash (although I live next door to one so go over whenever he hosts a run) but I have great memories of some crazy nights.

#15 Jindalee

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Posted 09 December 2017 - 06:55 AM

View PostDavo, on 08 December 2017 - 09:55 PM, said:

View PostJindalee, on 08 December 2017 - 06:28 PM, said:

If anyone is feeling festive and wants to run around Sydney dressed christmassy... I'm organising a run for my "running club" (hash house harriers) on 21.12.17 starting at 6.30 pm at Wentworth park.
I'm glad you put the words "running club" in inverted brackets, Jindalee.
As an ex-GM (Brisbane Northside HHH, 2001) I can only say "On-On !"
Sadly I have now retired from hash (although I live next door to one so go over whenever he hosts a run) but I have great memories of some crazy nights.

Yes, there are some great and crazy nights/ weekends and Iím glad to hear that you still get involved.
The hash Iím a member of (Sydney Thirsty) is a young hash (apparently the fastest in Sydney but we cater for everyone, walkers to FRBís).

#16 SkyChariot

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:13 PM

Sounds good Jindalee, I dont mind doing silly things like dressing up and running, why not? But I might be down on the farm doing a Christmas catchup with some friends that day. I hope you get a good crowd

#17 Davo

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 04:06 PM

SkyChariot, from what I've seen of your posts, you would fit right in with the hash house harriers. Look up you local HHH  -  you'll love 'em!

#18 Jindalee

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 04:46 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 11 December 2017 - 03:13 PM, said:

Sounds good Jindalee, I dont mind doing silly things like dressing up and running, why not? But I might be down on the farm doing a Christmas catchup with some friends that day. I hope you get a good crowd

Thanks SC. We normally do get a good crowd and if you do happen to be around... you are more than welcome to join us. :)

#19 Davo

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 04:54 PM

View PostJindalee, on 11 December 2017 - 04:46 PM, said:

View PostSkyChariot, on 11 December 2017 - 03:13 PM, said:

Sounds good Jindalee, I dont mind doing silly things like dressing up and running, why not? But I might be down on the farm doing a Christmas catchup with some friends that day. I hope you get a good crowd

Thanks SC. We normally do get a good crowd and if you do happen to be around... you are more than welcome to join us. :)

But just remember, SC, the old observation made by hashers themselves: i.e. If you've half a mind to join hash.....that's all you need!

#20 SkyChariot

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 03:02 PM

Actually Davo, I probably fit that category, as I thought that Hash House Harriers were people that ran eating hash browns, so I never thought to join in as I dont eat the things. While I am here.......another Christmas cartoon.....

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#21 Davo

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 05:44 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 15 December 2017 - 03:02 PM, said:

Actually Davo, I probably fit that category, as I thought that Hash House Harriers were people that ran eating hash browns, so I never thought to join in as I dont eat the things. While I am here.......another Christmas cartoon.....
Oh no, SC, hash house harriers are described (even by themselves) as "drinkers with a running problem". Actually the name originated somewhere in the far east, when British Military forces were there. A few of the soldiers decided to go for a regular jog every evening, and one of the local food vendors hit upon the idea of following them around and selling them food and drinks when they had finished. The name of his business was The Hash House, so the soldiers took to calling themselves the Hash House Harriers.
It's grown from there and is now a worldwide organisation. You'll love it!

#22 SkyChariot

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 11:07 AM

Oh, now I get it!!! Thanks for enlightening me. I actually never knew that! Folks are dumb where I come from! Not only do I not eat Hash brown, [or anything else 'hash' for that matter] but I dont drink either, so that rules me out completely!!!

#23 Jindalee

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 08:58 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 16 December 2017 - 11:07 AM, said:

Oh, now I get it!!! Thanks for enlightening me. I actually never knew that! Folks are dumb where I come from! Not only do I not eat Hash brown, [or anything else 'hash' for that matter] but I dont drink either, so that rules me out completely!!!

SC drinking is not mandatory and we do have soft drinks on offer for people who do not (want) to drink.
Itís a lot of fun as you are following a trail the Ďhareí has set and you have no idea where you are going. Sometimes the hare leads you onto a false trail and you have to go back a bit and check where the correct trail goes. Itís not ĎProperí running but itís lots of fun and you will see different parts of the city.
Oh and my group LOVES dressing up for any occasion. :)

Edited by Jindalee, 16 December 2017 - 08:59 PM.


#24 Davo

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 09:24 PM

The Red Dress runs in particular are out of this world!
SkyChariot, from what I've seen of your posts and your sense of humour, and your sense of the absurd, you would fit right in with the hash, drinker or not. You really must give them a go, you will love it!
Some examples of my time with hash: splashing through puddles (deliberately so that everyone else gets splashed!), climbing over or under fences, running through libraries (yes I used to work in a library and set my run through there once!), scrabbling through the bush, getting soaking wet in a downpour, running through the Brisbane CBD in a red dress, running single file through a narrow tunnel and the lead runner farting (imagine what the rest of 'em said!), regrouping for a drink of port (or something) halfway through the run......what great memories!

#25 Jindalee

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Posted 17 December 2017 - 01:59 PM

View PostDavo, on 16 December 2017 - 09:24 PM, said:

The Red Dress runs in particular are out of this world!
SkyChariot, from what I've seen of your posts and your sense of humour, and your sense of the absurd, you would fit right in with the hash, drinker or not. You really must give them a go, you will love it!
Some examples of my time with hash: splashing through puddles (deliberately so that everyone else gets splashed!), climbing over or under fences, running through libraries (yes I used to work in a library and set my run through there once!), scrabbling through the bush, getting soaking wet in a downpour, running through the Brisbane CBD in a red dress, running single file through a narrow tunnel and the lead runner farting (imagine what the rest of 'em said!), regrouping for a drink of port (or something) halfway through the run......what great memories!

Davo, looks like you should get back into hashing! ;)
But you are right. There are lovely memories to be made. This September the hash celebrated 50 years of hashing in Australia and my hash hosted the red dress hash, so we had over 100 hashers running around the Sydney CBD in their red dresses... :)


#26 Davo

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Posted 17 December 2017 - 04:49 PM

View PostJindalee, on 17 December 2017 - 01:59 PM, said:

View PostDavo, on 16 December 2017 - 09:24 PM, said:

The Red Dress runs in particular are out of this world!
SkyChariot, from what I've seen of your posts and your sense of humour, and your sense of the absurd, you would fit right in with the hash, drinker or not. You really must give them a go, you will love it!
Some examples of my time with hash: splashing through puddles (deliberately so that everyone else gets splashed!), climbing over or under fences, running through libraries (yes I used to work in a library and set my run through there once!), scrabbling through the bush, getting soaking wet in a downpour, running through the Brisbane CBD in a red dress, running single file through a narrow tunnel and the lead runner farting (imagine what the rest of 'em said!), regrouping for a drink of port (or something) halfway through the run......what great memories!

Davo, looks like you should get back into hashing! ;)
But you are right. There are lovely memories to be made. This September the hash celebrated 50 years of hashing in Australia and my hash hosted the red dress hash, so we had over 100 hashers running around the Sydney CBD in their red dresses... :)

A sight to behold!

#27 SkyChariot

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 03:25 PM

Dont have to be a drinker?? Maybe I should start my own hash harriers down here then! If you have ever seen some of the loony dress ups I have done for parkrun occasions, such as halloween [I will have to find those and put them up] and Christmas and easter parkruns. I need to like that post above too Jindalee, when I get my likes restored.

#28 Davo

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 04:21 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 18 December 2017 - 03:25 PM, said:

Dont have to be a drinker?? Maybe I should start my own hash harriers down here then! If you have ever seen some of the loony dress ups I have done for parkrun occasions, such as halloween [I will have to find those and put them up] and Christmas and easter parkruns. I need to like that post above too Jindalee, when I get my likes restored.
SkyChariot, look up the HHH in the Wollongong area, where you live. It seems as though there's two or three there without you having to start one yourself.

#29 Jindalee

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Posted 18 December 2017 - 07:21 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 18 December 2017 - 03:25 PM, said:

Dont have to be a drinker?? Maybe I should start my own hash harriers down here then! If you have ever seen some of the loony dress ups I have done for parkrun occasions, such as halloween [I will have to find those and put them up] and Christmas and easter parkruns. I need to like that post above too Jindalee, when I get my likes restored.

Sounds like you will fit right in if you like dressing up. :) and yes, you donít need to be a drinker to join as long as you have no problem with ppl around you enjoying a drink or 2.

#30 SkyChariot

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Posted 19 December 2017 - 04:45 PM

I expect plenty of photos posted here from your Christmas run Jindalee.

#31 SkyChariot

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Posted 20 December 2017 - 04:49 PM

Hey Jindalee and Davo, I found the dress up picks I mentioned above, of me at St Peters Halloween run from a few years back, so I have put them up here. Also included one more cartoon Christmas card from a few years back.

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#32 Jindalee

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Posted 20 December 2017 - 05:59 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 20 December 2017 - 04:49 PM, said:

Hey Jindalee and Davo, I found the dress up picks I mentioned above, of me at St Peters Halloween run from a few years back, so I have put them up here. Also included one more cartoon Christmas card from a few years back.

Fantastic pics and great Christmas card!
Get your Santa outfit on tomorrow and join us at Wentworth park. :) you will def fit right in.

#33 SkyChariot

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 01:09 PM

I would if I wasn't catching up with my friends from the farm tomorrow Jindalee. Then I have early rise for sandon point parkrun. Sigh. Too much good running, not enough chariot to go around! I will be looking forward to seeing the photos though Jindalee.    Meanwhile, here is a little Jingle that came to mind while I was rewriting some Christmas songs for our Christmas parkrun at sandon point on Saturday for the singalong. I tried to keep them mostly kid friendly, but couldn't help myself with this little verse. Safe to say we wont be including it! Its to the tune of The Little Drummer Boy.... Its Saturday which brings parkrun parkrun run.  We all have wobbly things parkrun parkrun run.   Us girls our boobies swing parkrun parkrun run.  The boys go ding-a-ling parkrun parkrun run, run parkrun run, run parkrun run, Gee this is fun!  :Big Grin:

#34 Jindalee

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 10:50 PM

View PostSkyChariot, on 21 December 2017 - 01:09 PM, said:

I would if I wasn't catching up with my friends from the farm tomorrow Jindalee. Then I have early rise for sandon point parkrun. Sigh. Too much good running, not enough chariot to go around! I will be looking forward to seeing the photos though Jindalee.    Meanwhile, here is a little Jingle that came to mind while I was rewriting some Christmas songs for our Christmas parkrun at sandon point on Saturday for the singalong. I tried to keep them mostly kid friendly, but couldn't help myself with this little verse. Safe to say we wont be including it! Its to the tune of The Little Drummer Boy....     Its Saturday which brings parkrun parkrun run.  We all have wobbly things parkrun parkrun run.   Us girls our boobies swing parkrun parkrun run.  The boys go ding-a-ling parkrun parkrun run, run parkrun run, run parkrun run, Gee this is fun!  :Big Grin:

View PostSkyChariot, on 21 December 2017 - 01:09 PM, said:

I would if I wasn't catching up with my friends from the farm tomorrow Jindalee. Then I have early rise for sandon point parkrun. Sigh. Too much good running, not enough chariot to go around! I will be looking forward to seeing the photos though Jindalee.    Meanwhile, here is a little Jingle that came to mind while I was rewriting some Christmas songs for our Christmas parkrun at sandon point on Saturday for the singalong. I tried to keep them mostly kid friendly, but couldn't help myself with this little verse. Safe to say we wont be including it! Its to the tune of The Little Drummer Boy....     Its Saturday which brings parkrun parkrun run.  We all have wobbly things parkrun parkrun run.   Us girls our boobies swing parkrun parkrun run.  The boys go ding-a-ling parkrun parkrun run, run parkrun run, run parkrun run, Gee this is fun!  :Big Grin:

Love your verse! Think you should include it. Kids wonít notice or know what itís about. ;)

Santa run was a great success! About 40 ppl showed up. Will see if I can get done pics as didnít take any apart from my half way bucket.

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#35 SkyChariot

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Posted 23 December 2017 - 11:11 AM

Oh great stuff Jindalee!! Glad you got a good roll up. I look forward to more pics....though, I probably wont be on coolrunning again until the new year due to libraries being shut. Yes we did have our sing a long at parkrun this morning, and we did include the above verse.....with a couple more I added. It was hot and humid, but fun!

#36 SkyChariot

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Posted 15 November 2018 - 02:04 PM

Seems Christmas festivities start to set in earlier and earlier each year. Been decorations up in the shops and lights on peoples houses down here for weeks already! So, I have caved in. If you cant beat them, join them! And come up with my first 'reworked' Christmas carol of the season.  Feel free to join in.

Rudolf  the red arsed reindeer,
Had a nasty case of piles,
This had been caused by pulling,
A very heavy sleigh for miles.

All  of the other reindeer,
Exercised their pelvic floor,
They didn't include Rudolf,
So now he had a loose back door!

It came time to hitch the sled,
And Santa scratched his head,
Rudolf with that arse so bright,
Think you'll make a great tail light.

So if this Christmas evening,
You see a red glow in the sky,
You'll know its Rudolfs arsehole,
As the sleigh is passing by! :Big Grin:

#37 Jindalee

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Posted 15 November 2018 - 03:29 PM

^ hahaha love it SC!

#38 riffraff

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Posted 15 November 2018 - 03:38 PM

^ should get her a spot on the cast with Christmas Carols in the Domain.

The kiddies will love her.

#39 SkyChariot

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Posted 16 November 2018 - 02:07 PM

^^I'd probably get censored!  I have a set of 'altered' carols suitable for parkrun that I will roll out again this year though. We gather and sing them after the run. Think there is still some footage up on our sandon point facebook page of one of last years carols. I tend to go a bit bonkers leading up to Christmas with the same old same old carols being played everywhere you go, so changing the words a bit makes them more interesting!

#40 SkyChariot

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Posted 17 November 2018 - 10:40 AM

Stay tuned! I am working on 'Little Donkey' and 'Frosty The Snow Man'............. :Devil:

#41 SkyChariot

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 02:49 PM

Well, I turned my little Rudolf ditty into a cartoon card.

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Edited by SkyChariot, 07 December 2018 - 02:50 PM.


#42 SkyChariot

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Posted 21 December 2018 - 01:22 PM

Christmas dress up parkrun tomorrow!! We will sing our parkrun carols afterwoods. Words by yours truly Fa la la la la, la la la la!! Will be fun! If there is someone there to video it, I will try and put it up here. Think there is still a video floating around from last years. Anyone got some Christmas dress up, or any Christmas run dress up pics to post here?

#43 SkyChariot

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Posted 24 December 2018 - 11:23 AM

Ho Ho Ho!! Merry Christmas running all!!!