53 replies to this topic

[beenroundthe track]

Every now and then a commentator will come up with some phrase or quote that seem to stick with you.....eg Norman Mays GOLD, GOLD, GOLD FOR AUSTRALIA.

My question is what is your most favourite memorable quote ??

The one I always remember is when the commentator calling the 400m final in the 1976 olypics( I think 1976) came up with

'Just look at him the great mans simply opens his legs and shows them his class'

As Alberto Juantorrena exploded away to win the race !!

[wunforfun]

"If he doesn't get out and the gate's not open he's gonna get caught"- John Walker commentating on the final 200m of the 1992 Olympic 5k before Dieter Bauman made his move.

[Ultraphil]

Dont like the sound of this thread! Hopefully no-one remembered anything I said in the last week! :D

[Davo]

"If Mark Spitz wants to win this race he's going to have to swim faster than the others".....Norman May.

"I think Australia would like to get the West Indies out for as low a score as possible"....Doug Walters.

[The Phantom]

The great one, Bruce MacAvaney had a memorable and insightful comment following the starters gun in the 400m in Sydney..

"Freeman comes out running..."

[John Dawlings]

They'll never catch him now, oh good tackle - Eddie Waring

There's Cowdrey in the slips with his legs apart waiting for the tickle - John Arlott

(After Ian Botham played a pull shot swung round and kicked his own stumps) Ian Botham coudn't quite get his leg over, could he? - Brian Johnstone

[moby]

Jack "Captain Blood" Dyer calling an AFL footy match:

“His long arms reached up like giant testicles”


Tony Greig (I think) attempting to describe an inside edge which is known as a french cut:

"And thats a lucky French C**t"

To which Richie Benaud replied, "As for that last shot, I think Tong Grieg described it perfectly".

[Slacker]

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle" --Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

OK, so I stole this off a US website.

[HardnFast]

Just before the 1996 Olympic mens 800m final the conversation went something like this,

Bruce MacAvaney - Johney Gray will go out hard, he said in a press conference he 'will take them through the twlight zone'.

John Walker - I remember back a while in a race going to 'never land'.

Bruce MacAvaney - Not a good place to be huh John.

[Slacker]

and then there is this.....

'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?' (USTV
commentator)

[Gronk]

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in yellow." :rolleyes: :)

[Gronk]

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in yellow." :rolleyes: :)

[Gav800]

"Gone, got him, piss off, your out.... that's f'd his average tony"

- I think that was Bill Lawry commentating once. Before it, Tony Greg was talking up some new guy who had a really high batting average for about 3games. Tony was saying he would make a huge score and bill didn't agree. The 12th man cd's make fun of it abit.

[chookrunner]

Michael Holding bowling to Peter Willey............"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

[Colin]

[indent]quote:

---

Originally posted by Gronk:
"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in yellow." :rolleyes: :)

---

[/indent]Makes perfect sense to me, how else would Spurs supporters have known they were not wearing the usual white? :rolleyes:

[MountainGoat]

Dennis Cometti in the AFL.
"Who is going to get Lade today?" - refering to which player will be marking Brendon Lade.

Don Scott in the AFL.
"Football is 90% mental, and the other half physical"

Bill Lawry in a disagreement with Tong Grieg.
"Are you going to go on about that all day or get on with the commentary?"

[prfan1]

To move slightly away from the humorous route for a moment

'He goes from the greatest never, to the best we've ever seen'- Bruce McIvaney at the Athens Olympics after Hicham El Guerrouj won his second gold. I'm amazed at how the best commentators seem to so succinctly sum up a situation and I thought Bruce got it dead right.

Also loved it a few years back when Tiger Woods had won the last three majors of 2000 and there was all the talk about whether or not if he won The Masters in 2001 it should be considered a grand slam. Tiger of course went on to win, as he usually does, holed his final putt, pumped his fist to the words 'As grand as it gets'. Well put.

But couldn't finsh without a few things from from Denis Commetti-

1. Healy: Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man
Commetti: Id prefer my mum
(silence)
Commetti: Not a great footballer, but at least she'd care.

2. "Carl Steinfort looking more like Robert Walls than Robert Walls"

3. "Ball to Barker to Barlow - The Hawks are attacking alphabetically"

4. 'Farmer may have an injury to his calf ... hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem ...'

5. 'Carr drives along the wing.'

6. 'Hay is bailed up on the boundary line . . .'

7. 'Walker to Carr . . . that's a step up . . .'

8. 'He's made a typo! - he wanted Bickley and he's got Buckley!'

[John Dawlings]

He's going to try to pot the pink. And for those of you watching in black and white, that's the ball behind the blue - Whispering Ted.

[KevinCassidy]

Football commentator, Peter McKenna...."If that player had Michael Moncrieff's head on his shoulders, he would look just like Micheal Moncrieff"

Cricket commentator, Tony Grieg....."For those of you who don't know what bowling into the blockhole means, it's when the ball is pitched into the blockhole!!"

Snooker commentator, Ted Lowe...."For those of you with black and white television, the blue ball is positioned right behind the pink"

[Chunderbolt]

John Arlott also gave us this one:

"and Bob Cunis's bowling was much like his name - neither one thing nor the other."

[Lilly Legs]

Rex Mossop commenting on a terrible Manly performance, saying something very close to: 'That match was so bad it made me want to go home and thump the missus!'.

[Tuttle]

Dennis Commeti....too many to list, but some classics:

"Farmer may have an injury to his calf ........ hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem."

After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: "Gaspar, the unfriendly post."

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona."

"Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray ... capable of a subtle hold."

"Barlow to Bateman, the Hawks are attacking alphabetically."

"Bell bringing the ball out of the back line ..... looking for wide runners..... passes to Walker ... a contradiction in terms, really."

"The goal square's full of Bears, looks like we've got ourselves a convoy."

"Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich."

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: "He goes much better as a mammal."

[slowaz]

An early Cometti-ism "Hepburn springs, German shepherds". (North Melbourne footballers).

Tuttle, you're "bobbing around like a cork in the ocean".

[Colin]

Murray Walker

'Unless I'm very much mistaken....I AM very much mistaken!'

Just google Murray Walker quotes and it will keep this thread going forever.

[Tom31]

Original quote on Juantorena was from David Coleman who has a whole host of these - couple of favourites being:

1. Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal.

2. For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

[MountainGoat]

Some great Tony Greig and BIll Lawry moments.

Once they were arguing a caught behind decision. Tony thought it was out, Bill not out.

When stump cam came up, Tony said " lets see if there is a cherry on the bat". Bill cracked up laughing saying - "thats going to be hard, they are playing with a white ball!"

The Billy Birmingham sketch of Tony calling the Australian colours canary yellow, then Bill telling him off. That actually did happen!

[MountainGoat]

Roy & HG calling the 1992 State of Origin.

Just before half time, lining up a shot at goal to make the score 4-4. Roy said "I wouldnt mind seeing the score stay at 4-all with the opportunity for a field goal in the 79th minute".

In the 79th minute - Alan Langer kicked a field goal to make it 5-4 to Queensland

[vat]

[indent]quote:

---

Originally posted by Colin:
Murray Walker

'Unless I'm very much mistaken....I AM very much mistaken!'

---

[/indent]Ah, Murray, source of such entertainment over the years. My favourite Murrayism: "the beak of the Ayrton Senna chicken is pushing its way through the shell" as Senna comfortably lead in the later stages of one of his numerous Monaco GP wins.

I can remember sitting down to watch the opening race of the 1993 season, the South African GP. Murray made his first mistake of the season on the very first corner, saying Prost had spun when it was quite clearly Hill. I mean, they were first and second, it wasn't like they were obscured!

[slowaz]

hq_premier

One of the funniest things I have heard, was said about Bill Lawry by a 9 year old kid. (The kid obviously not knowing that he was a former test player and a pretty good one at that).

Situation - the touring Poms played Victoria in a 3 day cricket match in Bendigo. It was pretty free and easy day and the players were very generous with their autographs. The kids kept going round to the grandstand and would come back with another autograph from one of the Poms.

Grand-dad in the crowd with his 2 little grand sons spies Bill Lawry walking around the ground.
"Hey boys" he says to these boys who had a few autographs by then "there's Bill Lawry, race over and grab his autograph".

The kid turns to grand-dad and says "what would want his autograph for - he's only a commentator".

[langswm]

"Kingston Town can't win".......

[wadistance]

Mack – “Right now, five metres doesn’t look very high at all for Isinbayeva

[knight60]

Dennis Cometti (third mention...)

During AFL Game: "He went in optimistically and came out mistioptically"

[miners]

I recall the venerable Richie while commenting on a West Indies game suggested we "...keep a close eye on Malcolm Marshall and his immaculate length..."

Funny - he only mentioned it for the caribbean players ...

[beenroundthe track]

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, 'I predict, Sir,
that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease'. Disraeli
replied, 'That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or
your mistress.'

[Darkie]

"Leo Barry, you are a star!" Steve Quartermain - 2005 AFL grand final

"Keiren Perkins, you are a superstar!" Neil Brookes - 1996 Olympic 1500m final

[Stu Mac]

[indent]quote:

---

Originally posted by Darkie:
"Leo Barry, you are a star!" Steve Quartermain - 2005 AFL grand final

---

[/indent]How true!!!
:D

[MountainGoat]

Darrell Eastlake
"you can see the emotion written all over his helmet!"

[Colin]

Vat,

Enjoy :D

Unless I'm very much mistaken -- I AM very much mistaken!"

"Look up there! That's the sky!"

"Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position."

"And this is the third place car about to lap the second place car."

"This is an interesting circuit, because it has inclines. And not just up, but down as well."

"And there's the man in the green flag!"

"That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year."

"And he's lost both right front tires."

"Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin. Unless this is the action, which it is."

"And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself."

"Mansell can see him in his earphone."

"Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does."

"Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place."

"As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth."

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"

"I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem."

"I know it's an old cliche, but you can cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump."

"Alesi is in second place, and Hill is in second place."

"The lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact, it's just under 7 seconds."

"Tambay's hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

"This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is now known, and always has been."

"And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

"As you can see, visually, with your eyes."

"And Damon Hill is following Damon Hill."

"Michael Schumacher is leading Michael Schumacher."

"Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte."

"Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th."

"Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve."

"Frentzen is taking, er, reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen."

"Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth."

"Schumacher has made his final stop three times."

"Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh, no he isn't! It's a lap record."

"And he's done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures."

"Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him."

"And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over."

"It's lap 26 of 58, which unless I'm very much mistaken is half way."

"Let's stop the startwatch."

"That's history. I say history because it happened in the past."

"And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race."

"I didn't see the time, largely because there wasn't one."

"Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest."

"I was there when I said it."

"Stewart has two cars in the top five: Magnusson 5th and Barichello 6th."

"The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander."

"Of course he did it voluntarily, but he had to do it."

"The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick."

"You might not think that's cricket, and it's not. It's motor racing."

[Doddy]

Mick Cronin - great league player - once made an appearance as a sideline-eye type commentator for a State of Origin match many years ago. He began his half-time report with "twice on a c ouple of occasions ....". Never heard from him after that.

Also State or Origin - Darell Eastlake or Ray Warren got really excited about a new whiz bang graphic chart and made a statement about how good it was and ended the sentence with ".... Jack.". So Jack Gibson was called on to make an appropriately positive comment. After a long silence Jack simply said, ".... I'll have to ask to explain that to me later tonight".

[clanrunner]

Bill Lawry and Richie Benaud commentating a match at the MCG. Damien Fleming took an outfield catch above his head.
Lawry: He marked it like a footballer!
Benaud: He must play rugby league.

or Greg Chappell's "There have been a few maiden overs, but they've scored off pretty much everything else"

However the most apt, just after the final siren of the 1989 Grand Final, "Ladies and gentleman, you've just seen a classic"

[wadistance]

the one that sticks out for me is Bruce commentating Hichams race in Athens...still get shivers down my spine when hicham crosses the line and bruce tells the world.."he is a legend"

from the same sentence...
"he's gone from the greatest never...to the best of all time"

and the worst quote ive heard of all time comes from the same race with Dave Culbert
"im sure its not the case...but it looked as if Lagat just couldnt let him lose." (not sure of exact words)

[Tan Man]

Dennis Commetti ( again ) commentating on a Fremantle Dockers AFL game :

" Black to White to Green...
Sounds like a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie."

Another gem when a kick for goal went wide:

" Looks straight , but isn't ...
A bit like Rock Hudson."

[beenroundthe track]

Shane Warne, trying to tempt porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga out of his crease mused,

"what will it take to get you out of your crease and drive".

Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up,

"Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

[KevinCassidy]

Not on the sporting theme, but.....

A small country town newspaper reported on a "lively" debate in the council chambers about the building of mobile phone towers. The article was headed "Large Erections Worry Councillors"

Back in the early 80s in the same small town and same local newspaper, the then Victorian State Minister for Health [Tom Roper...remember him?] had arrived on the election trail promising to put more funds into mental health.........and the newspaper headline???
"Mental Retardation: Labor Promises More"

[MountainGoat]

not sport - but.

Newsreader says to the weatherman.

"so where was the 8 inches you promised me last night?"

[Shompa]

Dermot Brereton calling an AFL match - "Funnily enough in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air even longer!"

[Gronk]

Shompa, on Nov 11 2008, 10:27 AM, said:

Dermot Brereton calling an AFL match - "Funnily enough in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air even longer!"

Welcome to CoolRunning Shompa !

[CDub]

I'm getting weird looks in the office from laughing so much

A couple from past Olympics -

At the equestrian: "She's a magnificent horse. I know because I once mounted her mother."

Women's weight-lifting: "I saw her snatch in the warm-up this morning & it was amazing!"

Can't remember the commentator or the runner but the line was: "opens his legs & shows his class."

[FreeDickland]

Norman May
Sheffield Shield match late 70's - early 80's
Thompson bowls, the batsman hits it, it is high - looks =like a boudary -
He's out, clean bowled ----

[SMC42K]

BBC commentator when (then princess fergie) presents the trophy to the winning team of the "Head-of-the-river" rowing regatta, "she kisses the captain and the rest of the team, then she bends down and kisses their cox"